How does it feel to wake up every morning,
Knowing how the day will drag on?
How can I express,
Living everyday knowing how worthless I am?
How do I fight the demons within me?
The dark thoughts inside my head,
Capturing every part of my soul,
Breaking me more and more,
Day and night..
Every breathing moment of mine.
How do I fight them?
What am I supposed to do,
When you laugh at my misery and tell me “it was just a joke”?
How am I supposed to believe you when you’re the reason I’m hurting?
How do I pretend to be alright,
When all I want to do is disappear into the shadows;
To realise, in fact, I am one of them.
Lurking around, disappearing into the darkness
How do I smile,
When all I crave is the sweet touch of a sharpened blade against my skin;
The warm, tinkling feeling of blood running down my skin?
What do I do when the only thing that calms me is the thought of lying unconscious in pool of blood, knowing there would be no tomorrow?
The only kind of pain I find solace in.
When death feels like the only comfort,
Do I extend an arm?
Or do I shiver at the thought of what it may do to ‘my loved ones’?